A Survival Guide To True Love: Surviving Through His Love

To wrap up my survival guide to true love short series, I want to end with another visual picture.  I hope it shows you how we survive because of love....

Tears running down her face, she closed her eyes to block out the view of her torn-apart bedroom. She could audibly hear her heart breaking. At first, she had taken the pain out in fits of anger, resulting in the trashed room. But now, with nothing left to break, she could only cry. Sobs wracked her body as the pain took over. She got up and walked across the room. Everything was broken. Everything was meaningless. What else could she do but make this pain physical? Nothing she was doing was rational. But what was rational these days, she asked herself. She picked up the knife and stared at it.

Desperately, she whispered. "If You're there... please... save me..."

She sat back down on her bed, gripping the knife tightly. Another sob escaped her lips and she shut her eyes. When she opened them, she was not longer in her room.

Before her was a cross. Three actually. She was in the midst of a crowd, some jeering and others crying. Hanging from one of the crosses was a middle-aged man. He reminded her of the stained-glass windows she had seen in her mother's old Catholic church. He looks in pain, she thought. She tapped someone's shoulder next to her, "Where am I?"

The person glared at her and said something in another language. She crinkled her face and the person turned away. She returned her eyes to the scene unfolding before her. The middle-aged man was screaming something now. Even though she couldn't understand what he said, she got chills. A few people around her started crying.

She then noticed all the blood. He was bleeding from everywhere. The sight of the blood reminded her of what she was doing before she ended up here. Is that what I would've looked like when I finished what I was doing? she thought. She remembered the pain she had been feeling just moments before. She realized watching this scene that the pain had dissipated. How dare I think about myself right now? That man is dying up there! she reprimanded herself.

She covered her face as the man's head began to sag. She didn't even know who he was, but she was crying. Opening her eyes again, she looked around to find different surroundings. Looking down at herself, she saw she was beaten and bruised, scarred and bleeding. Her clothes were tattered. "So this is my emotions put into reality…" she said to herself.

"This is you without Me," said another voice. It startled her. She looked up and saw the same man who had been on the cross standing in front of her. Her jaw dropped. She was so sure he had been dead. Staring at the man, she stood speechless.

"You called, I answered." He said it so matter-of-factly. Did he think she knew what was going on? Not too long ago she had been in her room, ready to bleed herself to divert the pain. The pain was fresh now. At the cross scene before, the pain had dulled. But it felt now like she was being speared repeatedly, the pain so severe she began hugging herself and crying.

"Oh, it hurts. Please, oh please, it hurts so bad…" she whimpered. Then a small light of understanding flickered in her mind. The desperate prayer she had frantically uttered before came back to the forefront of her mind. "You… answered…." she said, shocked.

The man before her began crying then. She had never seen a grown man cry, besides her father when he was in a drunken stupor. But she didn't count him as a grown man. The man before her stepped forward and gently touched her cheek. At first she flinched, but the warmth that flowed from his hand kept her from pulling back.

In a small voice, she quoted a verse that her mother made her memorize when she was little. "For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son…"

He finished the verse for her, his voice thick with emotion. "…that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." He smiled. Her mind reeled. Life? She felt so dead. But he spoke again and she wanted to hear him, so she quieted her thoughts. "Not just life with me, dear. Not just fire-insurance. Life that exudes from every pore in your body even now." Then he stepped back and she looked down at herself.

She was completely whole. Not only that, she was clothed in a beautiful robe, and she was glowing. She looked like life. She felt like life. She glanced back up at the man before her. "Jesus."  Getting inches from her face, he breathed. In any other circumstance, she would have jumped back. But instead she let his breath wash over her. Thoughts overwhelmed her mind, thoughts that made her feel drunk with delight.

She closed her eyes, letting the relief wash over her. When she opened them, she was in the middle of an expansive field. She smiled to herself, taking in the beauty of her new surroundings. She heard birds in the distance. As wind whispered across her face and danced through her hair, she sat down amongst flowers. She directed her eyes to the blue sky above her. It was so peaceful. Her heartbeat within her began to quicken, and the hairs on her neck stood up. She was no longer alone.

Glancing up, she saw an older man. But he didn't look frail like most old men. He looked like a warrior. Silently, he walked towards her. He sat next to her. The chills she had felt back at the cross returned. Letting her mind drift just half an hour back, she remembered the pain she had felt in her bedroom. She was a new person now. The man next to her spoke.

"I will never leave you." His voice held an authoritative air, intermingled with a passion that could bring anyone to their knees. "You are my beloved. And I love you. What was done at the cross was for you, done out of my unending, unhindered love for you. The healing you experienced was my love healing you, because you are mine, and I have called you to me." She started to shake. Did he know? "Your history is history, and your future is me. I see you in your desperation, and again I will heal you. Your pain, your regret, your guilt, is no longer yours. I have cast it all away from you."

She wanted so desperately to say something. But she couldn't. So she stared at him, admiration filling her eyes.

"You survive because of my love."

Daddy's Girl
Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

1 thoughts from others:

Bonnie said...

Jordan, You have no idea how that ministered to my life right now. Alot of similar feelings that I can truly relate to. Wow, just plain wow. Had me crying like a baby. Keep sharing what God is speaking to you. It is amazing and truly anointed girl. Love you,Bonnie

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